Self Destruction Poem by Melecia Williams

Broken promises and broken skin
it's a long story where do I begin?
a 3 month old and no place to live
it's so damn hard, kids raising kids

falling apart when I think of your face
tears on mine, I'm in such a dark place

I'm seeking help
but no ones there
I'm lonely and cold and shaking scared

I wonder why you failed to see
how hard I tried to make you love me
It's been months and months
and here i am
inhaling smoke
to forget the man
who stole my confidence and shattered my heart
lifted my hopes and tore them apart

I can see myself pushing away
the only one who ever stayed
I love him so much, and I hurt him everyday
with the way I act and the things I say

my wrist hurts but the cuts aren't as deep
as the ones that keep reopening inside of me
it doesn't hurt, I like to bleed
it's something I don't want, but it's something I need

pills and liquor to numb the pain
Zoloft, sex, and cold walks in the rain
i cant listen to music it hurts too much
to hear the songs we use to love

the girls who were much better than me
skinny with long hair and perfect bodies
you told me I was beautiful
you told them the same
I remember them all, every face and each name

i told you i was sorry
i told you I would change
i told you not to worry
I'd never pick a fight again

i told you that I loved you
and you said you loved me too
then you didn't want me
i wasn't enough for you

I can't be alone for too long
it's sad to be sad whenever you're gone
I wish we could have a place to call home
we're wandering like gypsies standing out where we roam