Shaking (Inside Of Me) Poem by Vanessa Kingsley

From rage
From hurt
From sadness
From pills
From sound
From madness
My body trembles and will not stop
I feel so lost
Tears warm and wet soak my face
I ground my teeth to stop them
They still come, never ceasing
Maybe this is why I am not sleeping
Maybe this is why I am not eating
Does she even care?
Why is she mad?
I should be mad!
She should want to talk to me!
She should be shaking and crying!
She should feel like sh*t!
Not me!
Yet here I am shaking uncontrollably
What have I done so horrible
That I’m in this mess
Why am I at the crossroad?
Why can’t I be normal?
Why can’t I really laugh?
Why don’t I feel normal?
Why do I feel so alone?
Why do I shake so terribly?
What have I done?
To deserve a friend that could do this to me
MORE THAN F*CKING ONCE!
Why am I nobody?
Why am I useless?
I wish I was little
I wish we hadn’t moved
I wish my dad was here
I wish I was good
I wish I was my sister
I wish I was nice
Instead I am shaking
Crying
Dying
Lying
Hiding
Fighting
Scarred inside
Scared all over