She Finds In Time Shes Played Herself Poem by April Levins

She Finds In Time Shes Played Herself



Part I the Role She Must Play

She asked “what is it worth”.

I lie down like death; so still not feeling the pleasure that excites them, remorseful and sham that I allowed men melodies to persuade my ears. I’m a disease to every person who knows my life, and I disgrace the women who seem to be “Ladies”, I’m feared by those who call me WH…, but my power endures their pretend faces they show.

She said “I’ve been a doll to so many men, like the numbers in the sand, uncountable and I’m unto untouchable”. I’m special, I’m beautiful, and a reflection of what brings me all I desire. I’m proud, I’m a trophy to the cheating husbands, I’m played in no way, and they’re thrilled to think I’m like new money.

She states “I’m high up on my horse and the world under my feet, I’m privileged to be me and I’ll never stop”. Men are puppets only to do to them what you please; they only need to be trained to accommodate my needs.
She said, “ I may be a lost cause to the world but in me the world don’t exits, I’m perfect like God, he made me, I’m a desire every man crave, men are beneath me and I have no heart for them, and then she said, “this is just the beginning of what I am to become.


Part II the Worth She Feels

Her Mother asked, “What is your worth”,
she said “nothing more than the lies men tell and the lies I’ll tell them.
I’ve suffered so long, so now my journey must begin, hell might be my next stop, but today I’ll live free”. I screamed coming from that place of no turning back, I felt my spirit remove itself from me, no one knows, though they whisper and challenge my reasons. She said, “I spoke to God, I couldn’t see pass my mission, God knows the names of them who are lost, my soul has bleed the true meaning of who I was, I was devoured by hurt and guilt as I began to see myself for what I really am”. My Father told me to pray, I had nothing in my worth to believe, lost for so long, PLEASE HELP ME!

She said, “if only I knew before now, the tears I cry are for me, I was in to deep too see my dirt, I want hate myself anymore, justify my life God”.
She states, “ I rather be dead at times, but my life will guide my era and fulfill my dreams, I will recover and I will love me as I was, as I am, and as I will become.

Written By © 2007 April Levins


The True Worth of Her

She thought all my dreams came true. I must succeed in order to become who I must be. I endured the mind binders and the body badgers, and she said, “The end of worthlessness”. She said, “The power to smile everyday gave my world a brighter light to tolerate mediocrities and finally the end, no more dirt”.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Gold Fish 13 October 2009

A wonderful, intense, and meaningful story of how the Father actively pursues the souls of the many lost people, today. This was truly a heart rendering poem, and may this serve as a witness to the lost! I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Most excellent.10+ Please return the favor.

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April Levins

April Levins

Birmingham Alabama
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