Side Effects Of Self Poem by Marlene Rashidi

I've been ignoring the obvious
I think too much
the thoughts are killing me
blocking blood from flowing in my veins
turning me purple
no, it's not nosy candy
blame the darkly commemorations

The symptoms are there
the keen to atrocious tomorrows
blackened recollections so vivid clear
blustering voices of self criticism are so vivacious
and the long term memory isn't helping
I try to shut them out
go away! far, far away!
they're stubborn, they still come back again

"Believe in yourself"
the fuckery I hear from daylight till dusk to dawn
positivity turned into negativity
I'm sorry self
I think too much
I ignore the thin hidden dazzling light
that's waiting for my arrival
I'm sorry self
I fell flat

I gave you virginal ambitions
empty promises!
surrounded your premises with uncertainty
I pillow talked you
gave you false alert to a pure dawn
I'm sorry self
anger! misery!
I feel pain.