Sleep. Poem by Ken McCollum

I cant sleep,
but i can always sleep,
sleep is never a problem,
in fact,
its usually a concern that I sleep to much,
him.
The golden retriever boy is why I can't sleep,
everything seems to make me thing of him,
or nothing at all,
i listen to tory spring through my wired headphones,
but even the soothing audio book cant help,
i toss, and turn,
even the most comfortable spots cant help me sleep,
I find myself still listening to the audiobook and playing on his little DS he left behind,
watching myself fail a couple times in mario cart is enough for me to turn it off and try to sleep again,
It doesn't work,
i thought reading some manga will help,
maybe having the music playing while i do that be the album he recommended wasn't the best idea,
i end up going onto my phone and looking through our messages,
forgetting i impulsively deleted them,
so i couldn't reread my favorite part,
no one is up this late,
So I found myself on my computer writing this poem.
I want to squash my feelings,
take my heart out and break it over and over,
so i am able to think with just my head,
because just loving him and keeping my feelings?
doesn't seem to be an option here.