Slipping

With water and soap, I try to scrub it off my skin
As hard as I try however, the death it creeps within’
The darkness enters into the very depths of my soul
My heart has become blackened, it is simply a hole
Where once joy met with happiness
Lay nothing more than huge regrets
A life as lame and dull as mine
To be lost in the sands of time
My dad hates me and isn’t proud of a thing I’ve done
He loves his computer more than me, let alone anyone
My brother lives his own life and I hardly get to see him
He seems to be happy though, I wish I got to see him
My sister is so far away and I don’t speak to her often
The nails seem to crash down locking me into my coffin
I’m breathing, and living, and no I’m not quite dead
Rather than that I feel so empty and so depressed instead
This poem itself is proof of the downs I am to have
The sadness is not here to be proud of, or to brag
I’m not happy about where I’m at and everything is my fault
Locked away are my good feelings, sealed away inside a vault
I will never have them back now is how it seems to be
I will die sad and alone, God please forgive me
Please help me, please save me; I need your help Lord
I shouldn’t feel deathly cold like an old sword
I have no strength; I am hit hard from all sides
Taken out to sea against my will, rolling with bad tides
I hate everything about this place I’m inside
I want to jump into a cavern, never leave so I can hide
I can pretend to smile; I can pretend to feel great
When others ask the magic 8 ball, it says to them “too late”
I have fallen into desperation, death, desolation, and depression
I don’t know what to do now, so here are my confessions
I’m tired and weak
My outcome is bleak
I have no job and I can’t get any sleep
I’m dying so slowly and I hate what I have become
Inside of all these problems everyone finds something dumb
I’m slipping not as slow as I had believed before
Closing right behind me is the grip to open doors
To be closed right now and be opened nevermore
I am strangled by a deathly grasp
I want to scream my lifeless gasp
I want to smash and bash and crash
I want to destroy all in my path
I want to climb the walls and jump them
Than break through the silver pumpkin
I want to never tweak or sweat what’s bleak
I cannot seem to think over these shrieks
This air it smells of reckless havoc
My life it weeps of endless bad luck
I’m ground up like the blackest coffee beans
Spit out by any of all means
When life is done with me it will laugh
At the time I’ve wasted, at my shredded path
And all throughout this all was slipping
Blood will wash off through with dripping.
12-31-08
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
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