Smoke Through A Keyhole Poem by Sable Naja

Timeless perfection in a simple tendril of smoke.

It curls – sinewy and untouched

Pushing silently through that metallic space

Caressing the knob as flesh and bone

Silky Claws scratch, then turn...

I close my eyes – reminiscing

Red can in the basement leaking acrid liquid –

Toxic fumes –

Inhaling this scent as fragrant perfume

I held the red can in my grip

- pouring then walking

My journey prescribed –

The crime premeditated...

Watching this gas spill –

I pulled on my cigarette.

Bold, this bag of dust has become in her destruction

Letting ashes fall without a care –

Gracefully to the wood floor.

Through the house I travelled.

No scheme – twist – nor plot.

Not one choreographed scene rehearsed

Nor one spoken, witty dictation to close this chapter.

It ends because it must.

Smoke through a keyhole

My eyes are open – I see you now.

I am all which remains of broken rhyme –

The birds no longer sing for me.

Alone time passes – I sigh.

So many dreams unfulfilled.

Looking back, the realization of blessings returned

- promises shattered

- hearts severed

This young heart/old soul

Wanders barefoot through scraps of metal – broken glass

Remembering blood on the floor

- soaking the sheets

- red splotches painting golden thighs

And I clutch a pillow with familiar scent to my cheek...

For it belonged to him.

That beautiful little boy who gave me life.

Now that's gone, too.

His death – one like so many others, yet

Not a simple passing by any means

Hammered three nails into my coffin door:

- I'd never again be called Mommy

- Never again would I wipe a tear or kiss a scratched knee

- Never again be called wife – for that left soon after him

Gone, gone, gone...

Smoke through a keyhole

I see you in my lap –

Creamy wisps tickling exposed skin

Reaching for my throat –

I welcome you now.

Flames engulf the closed door as hands of violent men.

I spread my arms wide

Lit cigarette still between smiling teeth

Eyes burning – tears falling as I search through smoke

Stretching sight beyond limits

Viewing scattered photos of times – happy times

Now lost to life's pitiful revenge...

Looking upward, I whisper:

'There's nothing here – you've made sure of that, haven't you?

Is this what you want?

So much has been taken from me –

Hope, passion, motherhood – now a faded dream.

The sound in my ears is Lucifer's chuckle

Dirty fingers covering a filthy sound at my expense –

And where were you?

Turning face as Time ruptured my heart – soul

I unwittingly became Job – losing all but misery – tears – faith.

Before I forsook you –

There is no God – I used to say...

Now I know you are real – How?

There is no pain on earth matching the punishment of God.

I feel you here – hand clutching my lungs – heartstrings

Pulling ferociously –

This is what you want – my soul!

And you shall have it! '



The Door exploded –

Flames screeched in my ears

Smoke crept inside my nostrils – parted lips

Tears scorched my skin – but I watched

As those violent hands broke apart the floor

Crawling stealthily to my naked feet.

The cigarette fell from my lips...

'Thank you.'

Copyright ©2008 M Willoughby