So Angry Poem by Robin Pratt

I can't recall for sure
When first I got angry
For a long time it didn't matter
But then I drank
and drank
and melted my mind

Bit by bit
Day by day

Why so angry?
So many nots...
Not good enough, not fast enough
and a lot of - not confident enough
So my head was crowded
with negative perceptions

Self perceptions
Self beliefs, shutting me down.

Limited in so many ways
never to fulfil my true potential
never to find my true potential or
The work I was born to do or
The life I was born to live
Just getting by behind a mask of oblivion

A dark and twisted fantasy
a millefeuille of unreality

And so it gets worse
More drink
More debt
More oblivion
More pain
More anger, hate and anguish

It's amazing how much damage can be done to others
while gazing into the mirror of self loathing

Lash out you coward
brave while bewildered
the champion of the low life
down and out flailing wildly
It only changes when you choose
Others cannot fix you

Look in the mirror of your soul
see the horror that is you

Smash crash
you broken adult, damaged child
Now is the time
Confess your addiction
Step 1 of 12
Not another drink ever in my life

Time to stop shouting, become a human, an adult
Time to take stock yet so much time for healing

Twenty years on
never a dropp past my lips
But addictive behaviour continued to haunt
The mind is so complex
less so than its frailties
But I rise from the ashes and dust myself down.