Solitary Confinement Poem by Nhlanhla Nobela

Sleep is an enemy when you don't know if you will be closing your eyes for good
So I stare outside as the moonlight is my only guest that snuck in through my small window
Surrounded by old grey frayed damaged and shabby walls that only sing a silent sad song accompanied by drops of water from a leaking roof i can hear these walls cry and I can feel the same pain that the souls that were here before me felt
I have even memorized the number of drops that drop in a minute it is like in a way they are trying to tell me something

I have been isolated from the world
I have been declared unstable and a danger to myself and the ones around me
I have been given a form of punishment that is beyond incarceration
People would rather see you with nothing than everything
They will act like they care but they rejoice in their corners when you are not there

Why does it hurt so much to see someone succeed than it is to see them fail?

My voice has grown tired from screaming for help, I have been trying to tell them that there is nothing wrong with me
What's wrong with being a little different and leading a life that is not determined by their expectations

My hands have grown tired from banging the door nobody is willing to help me
They will hate you for being different
They will crucify you for following your dreams; but I have realized it is not me they hate
They hate themselves through me

Cry all you want child but don't let your tears drown you in the process
They said they want to help but all they ever wanted to do was put me on the leash

I am left with a bitter taste on my tongue that tastes like regret
With a few broken ribs that shorten my breathe
Now i lie on my back patiently waiting for the reaper to come
I want to tell him that I am not afraid of him anymore
I have been my worst nightmare, now nothing comes as a surprise I have went head to head with my fears and realized they were just dogs without teeth

The cracks on these walls of mine are a full proof that I have withstood the test of time, survived the quakes and tides of this world and still rose above all odds

I have learned to love more in hateful situations and to laugh more in times of distress and pain
Hate is a cage that has no door once trapped in there there's no escape