Speaking In Tongues Poem by Alexander Shaumyan

When the night is at rest
And the day's work is done,
I walk out undressed
Speaking in tongues.

So pardon my French,
As I break wind with ease,
Making loud cazzoni
In my fluent Burmese.

And my Zulu is great
Every time I pass gas,
Burp in German and Finnish
Like a pain in your ass.

And my Hebrew and Arabic
Will always impress
As I talk to some girl
With Swahili finesse.

Just last night in Hungarian
I insulted the moon,
Stuffed with Polish kielbasa
Like some Persian balloon.

I was saying in Pashto
Kiss my ass, maricon-
While in broken Gaelic
I was drunk until dawn.

And the United Nations
Are after my beef
Since I cursed in Apache
Some Navajo chief.

Yes, I speak many tongues,
But it's all the same shit-
No matter the language-
Cantonese or Sanskrit.

Jesus said: "Love thy neighbor"
And Mohammed said "Kill",
While a little bird told me
"They are mentally ill".

I'm all for world peace
Don't get me wrong-
As I sing my Old Russian
Chert poberi song.

November 29,2019
- Alexander Shaumyan