Arthur Guiterman

(1871-1943 / United States)

Strictly Germ-Proof - Poem by Arthur Guiterman

The Antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic Pup
Were playing in the garden when the Bunny gamboled up;
They looked upon the Creature with a loathing undisguised;—
It wasn't Disinfected and it wasn't Sterilized.

They said it was a Microbe and a Hotbed of Disease;
They steamed it in a vapor of a thousand-odd degrees;
They froze it in a freezer that was cold as Banished Hope
And washed it in permanganate with carbolated soap.

In sulphurated hydrogen they steeped its wiggly ears;
They trimmed its frisky whiskers with a pair of hard-boiled shears;
They donned their rubber mittens and they took it by the hand
And elected it a member of the Fumigated Band.

There's not a Micrococcus in the garden where they play;
They bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day;
And each imbibes his rations from a Hygienic Cup—
The Bunny and the Baby and the Prophylactic Pup.

Comments about Strictly Germ-Proof by Arthur Guiterman

  • (2/24/2018 1:43:00 PM)

    I found this poem copied in my father's handwriting, among some of his old Stanford Medical school records. Very apropos of him to keep this, as he was a doctor of public health for the city of Portland, OR, for 15 years until his untimely death at age 46 (Report) Reply

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  • (7/17/2011 12:51:00 PM)

    Strictly Germ Proof.
    At the age of 10, I was taught this poem and learnt it by heart. I have remembered it for 56 years, and have never found anyone else to have heard of it. I am absolutely delighted to have found it on the internet.
    I am now loking at Arthur Guiterman's other poems.
    (Report) Reply

    (6/4/2015 11:33:00 AM)

    I also learned it at the age of ten, and recited it in front of my 4th grade class! I'm now 61 and this is still my favorite. Sometimes I type this clever poem out on my computer just for fun!

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Poem Edited: Monday, July 18, 2011

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