Strictly Germ-Proof Poem by Arthur Guiterman

Strictly Germ-Proof

Rating: 5.0

The Antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic Pup
Were playing in the garden when the Bunny gamboled up;
They looked upon the Creature with a loathing undisguised;—
It wasn't Disinfected and it wasn't Sterilized.

They said it was a Microbe and a Hotbed of Disease;
They steamed it in a vapor of a thousand-odd degrees;
They froze it in a freezer that was cold as Banished Hope
And washed it in permanganate with carbolated soap.

In sulphurated hydrogen they steeped its wiggly ears;
They trimmed its frisky whiskers with a pair of hard-boiled shears;
They donned their rubber mittens and they took it by the hand
And elected it a member of the Fumigated Band.

There's not a Micrococcus in the garden where they play;
They bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day;
And each imbibes his rations from a Hygienic Cup—
The Bunny and the Baby and the Prophylactic Pup.

Jeanne 07 April 2020

I read a similar poem in the Reveille paper roughly 65 years ago. A man lived an antiseptic life, eating antiseptic food from An antiseptic plate. Drinking from an antiseptic drinks from an antiseptic cup, lived his life an antiseptic way etc, etc. It finished with him dying an antiseptic death and being buried in an antiseptic grave, it puzzled me that poem. I was too young to realise the irony of it!

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Joseph M. Cleary 24 February 2018

I found this poem copied in my father's handwriting, among some of his old Stanford Medical school records. Very apropos of him to keep this, as he was a doctor of public health for the city of Portland, OR, for 15 years until his untimely death at age 46

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Rosemary Flynn 17 July 2011

Strictly Germ Proof. At the age of 10, I was taught this poem and learnt it by heart. I have remembered it for 56 years, and have never found anyone else to have heard of it. I am absolutely delighted to have found it on the internet. I am now loking at Arthur Guiterman's other poems. Rosemary.

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T B 04 June 2015

I also learned it at the age of ten, and recited it in front of my 4th grade class! I'm now 61 and this is still my favorite. Sometimes I type this clever poem out on my computer just for fun!

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