Stupid Lust.... Poem by RIC BASTASA

you know that you are
so tempting
and you keep on
tempting me to do
such a thing
which i have not
resisted for the
past times with
you

actually, this i
must say without
much pretense,

you are not pretty
at all
nothing of such
significance
you do not stand
well in a crowd

except that perhaps
you are tempting and
you have been tempting
me that much
teasingly which i have
not really try hard
resisting

i always end up in you
kissing you
and closing my eyes
and i wonder why
i keep closing my eyes
for every kiss
that i have planted on
your lips

(must i be ashamed about
the fool in me?
have i demeaned myself
that much?)

i keep on arguing with
myself as though i am a split
bamboo
one different from the
other
as though i am two different
selves
one for the good
one for the bad)

at any rate i sum up
the experience

it makes me feel
beautiful
makes me fly like
a bird in the sky
you make me feel
a stranger to myself
someone new
in another day of
my life)

and you are someone
which i must keep a secret.
someone that i do
not know about.
someone i put inside me
all supressed
because you are
despite the ugliness
still, i find this hard
to admit,
so beautiful to me)

stupid lust.
i shall never name you
love.