Surviving The Abyss...A Drama Queens Remedy Poem by grace mariner

And so the abyss descends upon me...
as it does every weekend, every holiday, every summer.
I am relegated to this dark void with a casual wave of your wand.
And life goes on so pleasurably for you...
movies with the boys, day trips and birthday parties, church and Sunday dinners.
And no matter how I try, all my efforts to live lead to tortured thoughts about you!
All that I see, taste, smell, and feel...
it always comes back to you.
I know my place and I keep it until your next call.
Existing in shadow...
it is the nature of such affairs.
But there is a brightness when you are in it!
It is immense...and powerful...and draws me to it!
I love it...and crave it...and ache for the lack of it in this forsaken pit you cast me into so often!
And I get it 'cause I've never been first on anyone's list.
But when I am discarded by you, I am abandoned.
When I am abandoned, I am in despair.
And in despair I become self loathing.
A subhuman thing.
A creature of an occult realm, dark, slimy, crawling on my belly through the foul oozing decay and unfit to exist in your world.
My loneliness is immeasurable.
My sadness is intolerable.
And then you call... and like an amnesiac, all fear, all darkness,
all memory of the abyss fly away from me like dust,
and I can again bask in that radiant light.