Sweet Silence Poem by Kay Moore

Did I hear a royal fanfare? ? ? Did you hear a drum? ? ?
No you silly bugger.....it's just my noisy bum!
In days gone by, it was discreet, to drop one on the side,
Silent, but deadly, an art.....to be applied.
Was taught to me by mother,
Who had it all down pat, she'd walk away and giggle,
And then sometimes, walk right back.
Mum and Dad had mastered, a game they played for fun,
Curled up in bed, with sheets pulled up, dutch ovens had begun.
I've always had this problem, as far as, way back when,
Maybe something in my genes.....to fart, sometimes now and then.
People make me nervous, when in a group I find.
My bottom loves to leave, these stinkies, unpleasantly behind.
So then I have to move along, as clever as can be,
So no one, will think that ugly smell, belongs to, innocent me.
And when I'm in the supermarket, just about to buy some eggs,
I'm teased with little bubbles, released between my legs.
In the moment of realisation, I sneak up behind a child,
So they can take the blame for me, see I'm the adult...wild
One time, a mate of mine, said, 'that smells like one dead dog'
What did you eat last night, my friend, I feel I need to bog.
I am a social outcast, until I fix my game,
So off to see my Doctor, to help me with my shame.
Maybe an expensive perfume, or air freshener on my sleeve,
Or some pills for my digestion,
So my conscience, will cease to grieve.
Now you've listened to my story, I'll guess you'll think I'm mad,
Or maybe, you have some friends, who fart and love to brag.
You're sitting there in silence, I can tell, with poker face,
Everybody does it, it's really no disgrace.
So if you've dropped a few, along life's merry way,
Front up, now just be honest, and laugh with me to-day! ! !