Te Tail Of The Ducking Donkey Poem by John Howard Davies

THE TAIL OF THE DUCKING DONKEY
by John Howard Davies 6th. October 2016

In ancient China when days were kinder to donkeys, hens and Pandas
there lived a donkey slightly wonky who ducked an awful lot
she'd been born late in a Chinese state where rocks were thrown at will
Will got so fed up he left, and he's nowhere around there still!
The little donkey met a monkey one day by the water
the donkey asked as he passed, " are you somebodies daughter? "
"No, " the monkey chatted back, "I'm a daddies boy! "
"What's a daddy, " asked the donkey, "and what on earths a boy? "
"I am, " said the monkey boy, " and my daddy is my father."
"My mother is my sisters Mum and my cousin is much shorter! "
"that's confusing, " the donkey said, " how on earth can you remember,
who is what and what is who on the twenty fifth of december? "
"Oh that's easy, " said the monkey boy, dodging a few more flying rocks,
"When they come home I jump on them and stuff them in a box,
they've all got different names on so I don't mix them all up! "
"And to keep them warm and safe from rocks I put them in the shed,
it's made of rice and tastes real nice with a slice of Chinese bread
but I can't keep eating walls and doors and Chinese roofs, " he said.
"Blimey, " said the ducking donkey, " what a life you've got for sure,
any chance of a quick short glance at your personal family store? "
"No, not blinking likely, " the monkey did reply,
"there are things in there that'll make you scared, so it's best that I don't share."
"I'm not a woos e or worrier and I'm not particularly bothered
by haunting ghosts who drift and host the extra time they've borrowed."
"It isn't that, " the monkey said, "it's much more worser than you think,
there's a big ole' cabbage that sits and smells just there beneath the sink! "
"Why don't you chuck it out and get rid of it then? " the ducking donkey said.
"I'll tell you why, " the monkey cried, "just let me have a think."
The monkey thunk and thunk and thunk for two days and an hour
"I've got it, " said the monkey boy, "the cabbage needs a shower! "
"Of course it does, " the donkey laughed, "that's the blinking answer, "
So the ducking donkey and the monkey boy then invited cabbage for dinner,
Cabbage never said a word as he rotted slowly away
he stunk more now than he ever did and he'd become thinner, in a day
They managed to roll the cabbage out from under the stinky sink
and instead of the cabbage being totally green he was in places PINK!
"Poo, " the ducking donkey said, "Poo, " said the monkey boy
"If he's coming to dinner he'll have to be named, " so they called the cabbage Roy!
Now, Roy didn't say much at dinner that night but he smelt a bit better and looked about right
they'd showered him thoroughly in monkeys wet room and scrubbed all his leaves with a hard bristled broom
a squirt of deodorant and a spay of french scent a new pair of 'Y' fronts with a 'Y' fronted vent
a pair of nice trousers with a belt for the waist and a tee shirt from Tescos with Starwars in space
they'd pushed his green leaves away from his face and stuck a nice slide in.....well, just in case
He did look a picture, the cabbage called Roy as he sat there all quiet, embarrassed and coy
donkey and monkey laid into the grub that was take-away English they'd got from the pub,
There are no pubs in China I hear you all shout, well there ain't talking donkeys but you all have your doubts!

TA DAR! !