Tell Freud Go To Hell Poem by Nassy Fesharaki

Tell Freud go to hell

And then what?
What came next?

Words are tied
-are dumb, deaf
-cannot tell…
-are in chains

At same night
-broken, separate…

Two dreams
-Ex and our children
-then father…

And then what?
What came next?
Tell Freud go to hell!

No, no, no…
-they were not part of talk.
-they were not part of walk.
-not with one, not last night…

In first I, was at home
-a home but,
-where was home?

Kids were there
-guess not all!
-sure, both sons
-and their mom…

The carpets and covers
-on all the furniture
-in green…

Here, there, plenty
-of crumbs…
-of bread…biscuits…

It was too strange
-clear I see as if here
-Ex, their mother, is silent.

And why so?

I had talk with my sons!
-in a way, each of them
-seemed in need
-different, with own kind,
-younger was silly, child
-in bed, sick, older one
-and somehow…

And then what?
What came next?
Tell Freud go to hell!

Strange, next dream…
Tell Freud go to hell!

I was in public to
-hear and talk of film
-register as member
-so can be remembered…

I wanted honesty
-people's turns
-keep in line!

My men but…
-so, were not…
-totally different…

Hung on me badges, things
-to show off and be seen…

Saw my dad in his suit
-when alone and walking
-very weak, he was thin
-obvious that was sick
-forgot me, talked with him:
- "Dad, tell me how you feel."

His eyes looked as if punched
-or through much had gone, was blue
-his cheekbones could be seen
-obviously in need…

Found him weak to go lean
-against wall behind him
-held him tight in my arms
-was hollow, empty
-lifted him…

For first time I felt him
-the way that I felt him
-weightless and heavenly.

Everything was here
-under roof and in hall
-somewhere in Canada.

Except some, most, many
-had only a cellphone
-I, few, thanks to guides
-to show am important!
-A kind man, next to me
- (while busy and talking) :
- "Do you need ambulance? "

Sure, I did and thanked him.

And then what?
What came next?
Tell Freud go to hell!

I do not remember then after
-but recall before it, as daylight.

Told daddy we would go
-we would head for the home
-he agreed, in meantime
-heard him talk…

He prayed and prayed as always.

Wanted to separate
-be free from earth
- (His body…)

And then what?
What came next?
Tell Freud go to hell!

To get out of my bed?
-I could not!

To forget and sleep?
-I could not!

Tossed and rolled!
Tossed and rolled!
Tossed and rolled!

I was ghost
-neither dead
-nor alive…

Tossed and rolled!
Tossed and rolled!
Tossed and rolled!

And then what?
What came next?
Tell Freud go to hell!

Now, haunted
-by dreams
-daydreams
-am awake? ? ?

Toss and roll!
Toss and roll!
Toss and roll!

And then what?
What comes next?
Tell Freud go to hell!