Thank You Poem by Justin Le
Thank You
Your gorgeous blonde hair shimmering in the light,
Your beautiful smile ever so bright,
Your stunning hazel eyes sparkle like a star,
Like a broken glass found in a bar;
Every time I think of you,
I gain confidence to do what I do,
And you make me feel all warm inside,
You could cheer me up even if my mother died;
You are a big part of my life,
And if you weren’t here I’d take a knife,
You are the one who makes me happy,
I know it sounds kind of sappy,
But I can’t thank you enough
Because you are the one that I really do love.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Delivering Poems Around The World
Poems are the property of their respective owners. All information has been reproduced here for educational and informational purposes to benefit site visitors, and is provided at no charge...
4/16/2024 4:55:32 PM # 1.0.0.1119
This could have been quite beautiful had you taken the time to look a little deeper for less cliche metaphors. There are quite a few things here that could be changed: 'Your stunning hazel eyes sparkle like a star, Like a broken glass found in a bar; ' Those two lines, feel to me (the reader) as if you're really stretching for a rhyme. Surely broken glass at a bar is far from beautiful, in fact it is the complete opposite. 'And you make me feel all warm inside, You could cheer me up even if my mother died; ' Again, you're trying too hard to get a rhyme. Those two lines border on comedy. I won't bother the comment on the rest, nor will I recommend any changes (that's the poet's job) . In short, take your time. Don't rush the words and be a bit more abstract in your thinking.