Brielle Aponte

That 2 O' Clock Feeling - Poem by Brielle Aponte

It's 2 o'clock in the morning
And I'm thinking ‘bout mourning
I've been doing that a lot lately
And it's getting kinda boring
My dangerous thoughts eating me alive
Oh, how I hate that 2 o'clock in the morning time
That's when all the regret and thoughts come around
I tried to drown my demons
But they know how to swim
They tell me to put the fingers down my throat
They tell me to draw my art on my wrist with my blade and red paint
They tell me to tie a knot in the rope
And end it all
I tried to fight them
But they're winning with every step
Every breath is a battle
Every thought is a war
And I don't think I'm winning anymore
It's 2 o'clock in the morning
I'm thinking ‘bout that damn blade again
It's all becoming an addiction
It's my relief to my pity party
They're haunting me, chasing me around
I'm running out of breathe but I'm tryin' to hold on
They are catching up
They're hot on my tail
The demons tell me dark secrets about how to have freedom
I used to fight them and not let them win
Now they're my best friends and talk to me any time of the day
It's 2 o'clock in morning
I'm starting to agree with them
Maybe a gun against my temple is better than bowing down to them
We're on the same side now
They should really join the debate team
Oh, how convincing and conniving they are
They tell me at 2 o'clock in morning, I can finally be happy
But everything comes with a price
Too bad I didn't realize life was the price of my happiness
Oh, those clever demons
Tricked me into believing I could live and still be happy
But I'm not angry anymore
It doesn't really matter
Since before I paid the price, I wasn't living
Merely surviving
It was 2 o'clock in the morning when I finished the tying the knot and flew away from this hell hole
And that was the last 2 o'clock in the morning before my demons won
Now, I wish those 2 o'clock in the mornings good luck.

Topic(s) of this poem: depression

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Poem Submitted: Friday, July 4, 2014

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