Kylie Archer

That Girl - Poem by Kylie Archer

I wanna be that girl who he can turn to when he's had enough.
I wanna be the girl who he can love.
I wanna be that girl who he knows will always be there for him.
i wanna be that girl he can let in.
I wanna be that girl that he can trust.
I wanna be that girl he can talk to about all kinds of stuff.
I wanna be the girl he runs to when he is sad.
I wanna be that girl who he talks about to his dad.
I wanna be that girl who calls me his world
But I was once this girl
Who was in love with the guy up above
He was my everything and then I broke the trust
I was cheating, leaving him to go get high
I was drinking and I wasn't thinking
I didn't even see it coming when he told me good bye.
I loved him very much and I still do
I miss his touch and 'I love you's'
I found out there is a price to pay and I pay it everyday
Today we would probably still be together
But I had to be stupid and now he's gone

Poet's Notes about The Poem

I wrote this poem for this guy that I dated and I fucked up the relationship and I finally realize how much he meant to me but its too late now... sadly

Comments about That Girl by Kylie Archer

  • (1/12/2014 3:49:00 PM)

    Sometimes I'm talking or reading work by an expert and I feel you know more about your poem than I do. But I've read your poem and think it can be developed further. You wrote it and probably still feel blue. I'm sorry you had to gain experience that way. That's life.
    However first thing I noticed at the start was the same few words over and over again. Rather than do that use what you have as notes and rewrite your poem. Aim to lift the reader. Do that and he'll want to know what happened.
    Write something like:
    I need to be that girl with sunflowers in her hair,
    the one he loves and always will declare his care.
    Go through the other lines and do that edit. The finished product will be 100% better and make you proud.
    Keep writing and get your work published.
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Sunday, January 12, 2014

Poem Edited: Monday, January 13, 2014

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