The Bargain At Bridge Parody Sir Philip Sidney - The Bargain Poem by Jonathan ROBIN

My partner holds no trumps,
I’m missing hers,
we’re seven down, and I am in the dumps
for she prefers

to bid as if the world
and she were one.
She goes to town despite the insults hurled,
we’ve never won.

The points, when counted, lumps
bring to the throat;
[what is the noun that’s harsher far than frumps? ]
the cheques I wrote!

Though dummy should remain
with silent tongue,
with weary crown keen intellects complain,
with faces hung.

My partner holds no trumps,
she sometimes errs,
or plays the clown with psychic bids, her jumps
lose tricks, p[r]ick stirs.

The Bargain
My true-love hath my heart, and I have his,
By just exchange one for the other given.
I hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss:
There never was a bargain better driven.

His heart in me keeps me and him in one;
My heart in him his thoughts and senses guides:
He loves my heart, for once it was his own;
I cherish his because in me it bides.

His heart his wound received from my sight;
My heart was wounded with his wounded heart;
For as from me on him his hurt did light,
So still, methought, in me his hurt did smart:
Both equal hurt, in this change sought our bliss,
My true love hath my heart and I have his.
Sir Philip Sidney