My hand feels numb from the terrible pain,
This anger inside me is making me go insane,
How can I control it?
It’s eating away my heart bit by bit,
What can I say to keep my cool?
And stop myself turning into a raging fool?
Do I need to keep myself away?
From the people I love every single day?
As I stop and see the damage that I’ve done,
I hear a noise and begin to run,
“Stop that man! ” I hear someone shout,
I can’t help it, it just comes out,
As I slip on the steps and fall to the floor,
I bang my head on a metal door,
And I wake up in a bed with a humid smell,
It smells like the dirty pits of hell,
I gasp for breath and begin to panic,
And the ward I’m on becomes so manic,
I climb out of bed and head for the lift,
I feel a stab in my neck and I begin to drift,
“He should be fine, ” I hear him say,
“He can be let out tomorrow or Wednesday”,
As I try to move, I see the strap,
“I’ll take it off when its time for your bath”,
I lay there feeling scared and tight,
Maybe they’ll let me go, they might, they might,
But I lay there for what seems forever,
My life was the same, nothing to endeavour,
So when I got the chance I broke out free,
And that’s why they think I’m out of my tree,
I didn’t mean to hurt him or even try,
But I did what I did and I cannot lie,
As I got outside, into cool fresh air,
I realised why I had been in there,
I had got out of the looney bin,
And has committed a sin,
And that’s why I was running, Away from my past,
I had broken free at long last,
But it was cut short; I lost it once again,
And caused myself yet more horrid pain
November 2004
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem