The Cosmological Constant Poem by Michael Burch

The Cosmological Constant
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein the frizzy-haired
said E equals MC squared.
Thus all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my ass declared!



The Cosmological Constant
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein the frizzy-haired
claimed E equals MC squared.
Thus all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my ass declared!



ASStronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Relativity, the theorists' creed,
claims mass increases with speed.
My (m) ass grows when I sit it.
Mr. Einstein, get with it;
equate its deflation, I plead!



Relative to Whom?
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein's theory, incredibly silly,
says a relative grows willy-nilly
at speeds close to light.
Well, his relatives might,
but mine grow their m(asses) more stilly!



Relative Theory I
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein's 'relative' theory
says masses increase, all too clearly,
at speeds close to light.
Well, his relatives' might,
but mine grow their m(asses) more stilly!



Relative Theory II
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein's peculiar theory
excludes all my relatives, clearly,
since my relatives' asses
increase their prone masses
while approaching light speed—not nearly!



Relative Theory III
by Michael R. Burch

Relativity, we're led to believe,
proves masses increase with great speed.
But it seems my huge family
must be an anomaly;
since their (m) asses increase, gone to seed!

Keywords/Tags: Albert Einstein, theory of relativity, science, cosmology, relationship, relationships, family, energy, light, speed of light, lights, light poetry, humor, humorous