The Darkness Poem by enrico succio

I awake,
Thrashing in my sleep


I scream out in agony,
The pain doesn't end
Doctor after doctor,


Therapist on therapist.
The results are always the same,
It's just the anxiety they say.
It all in my head they say.


Lies!
All of it,
it is real!
I feel it!


My phone rings nonstop,
Questions of my health
Friendly advice.


I remain silent,
Hidden within myself
The pain manifests,
It grows stronger.


Am I crazy?


Looking in the mirror,
I see the darkness
All I can do is cry.


Nobody understands,
They can't, he can't.


He tries but he doesn't know,
He brings me flowers and anything I desire,
Still he doesn't understand.


No one understands
My chest feels like a million knives are being pressed into it,
My lungs feel as if they will explode with each breath.


I feel like I'm going to die
It is killing me.
In my sleep maybe,
I don't think I'm so lucky.


The thought of death entices me,
Its almost welcomes me.
fear keeps me from embracing it.


If only it was easier to die.
A train, a bus, a car,
I pity the person who takes me out.
Never would I make someone else live with that.


Instead I lay in my bed,
Trapped.


Trapped in my home.
I feel as if I am tied here,
Cold heavy cuffs on my wrist,
Chains bolted to the walls.
Im trapped.


the darkness is here now
it waits for me outside,
like a lion stalking it pray
it waits for me.


The outside is where the darkness lives
I am safer here.
In my sanctuary I am safe.


That darkness controls me,
it holds me never to let me go.
the feeling lurks with in me,
it is everywhere I go,
everything I feel.
Maybe I am crazy.