Erin Cowart

The Drive

One day you will be driving
75 miles an hour towards Cedar Key
And Prince will be blasting on the radio
And you will realize that it is quite possibly heaven

You will drive to the edge of the water
And watch the dolphins play
You will swing in the swing
-Front to back-
And you will realize
That your whole life was front to back
Swinging front to back
Like the world around you

And when you realize this
You will frantically start to swing
Side to side
And laugh at how easy it was
Just to break free

Break free and see the world
Drink the wine
Have the sex
Meet the people
Think the ideas
That were forbidden for so long

Occasionally you will look up
To where God resides
And smile
Because there is no more judgement there

Yes, when you wake one morning
To the sound of rain falling
Like music on the tin roof
You will think of these moments
Of fear and indecision
Terror and grief
And they will seem a small thing

So small that you will wonder
Why they ever seemed like
Burning oceans of holy water
Meant to smite you

As you sit at the edge of the world
(A new world you are creating)
You will wonder what took you so long
And why the fight to stay small
Seemed like trying to hold on to
An iron cross while running from a burning building-
Hot and Heavy


And on that day at the Faraway Inn
You will put the cross down
You will realize that the holy water
Is only holy because you believed
And that now
You can believe in yourself

Topic(s) of this poem: changes

Poem Submitted: Wednesday, July 22, 2020

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

About a year after I left the fundamentalist religion of my youth my husband and I took a trip to a little fishing town called Cedar Key and we stayed at the Faraway Inn. While there I wrote this piece about my feelings regarding leaving my religion and the new life I am creating.

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