The Heroic Man. Poem by Kevin Hulme

How I wish I was born the Heroic Man, And travel the Globe To foil the odd plan. Of World domination by a mad Doctor or two, Then bloody his nose and blow up his H.Q. But when fate dealt the cards it was never my lot, So I amble along with the life that I got. No Femme Fatale Or Russian Spy to entrap me with all her charms, My other half is The 'Fish Shop' Girl,
All Tattoos and Wrestlers arms. No Aston Martin awaits outside,
For the tables at 'Royale' with Le Chiffre, As I place my bet, with the Bingo Set, All Grannies and National Health teeth. No Savile Row Suits That are elegantly cut, The Shoes the finest made.
I am what you see, a pity full sight, An advert for Christian Aid. No U.N.C.L.E. agent or 'Saint' am I, Nor partner to the divine Mrs Peel. Never travel afar to some exotic locale, Or punch ups to bring Villains to heel. A life of intrigue would be my plan,
All ' Jason King ' and ' Danger Man'.
But as it is the Gods did see,
I was never the man I hoped to be.