The Horrible Feelings Of Suicide Poem by Ash Chan

You’re fine one day, minding your own business,
Feeling happy and jolly with joy in your system,
But then suddenly something happens that turns your thoughts
Into something worse,
Something worse that cannot be reversed.

Once it’s there it cannot let you go,
Clinging onto you like a hawk’s claw,
Trying to change your happy thoughts into misery,
But it doesn’t care,
Even when you’re history.

You can be fine one day,
Happy as can be,
Then an alarming stressful situation happens,
And you’re busy as a bee.

Busy as a bee,
Having so many thoughts in your mind,
Then death kicks in,
And your mind go blind.

Suicide brainwashes you,
Makes you go mad,
Makes you so mad that,
You can only cry and be sad.
The process gets worse,
If it keeps getting to you,
Like a medical condition,
That cannot be completely ridden off.

At times it kills you inside,
Stabs you as well,
Creates storms in your heart,
Wrecking up your brain

And you feel quite dark,
Nowhere to go,
Nowhere to hide,
But I guess,

It’s ruining my mind.

Crying and crying,
Begging for the horrid feelings to stop,
But it keeps putting pressure on me,
Telling me to give up.

Giving up is not an option for me,
I am strong as can be,
But these stupid feelings,
Are getting the better of me.

I must try and block these emotions out of my brain,
And when I do succeed,
After a while,
It comes back again.

It’s ready to start haunting me,
Ready to stir up my life,
Ready to commence a commotion,
Ready to ruin my life.

Okay, I gotta stay strong now,
Because it’s killing me inside and out,
Think happy thoughts and memories,
But all those hopes have suddenly gone.

These feelings are taking their toll,
Putting their weight on me,
Asking me to give up now,
You think I’m listening?

I try so hard,
So hard to be brave,
But I don’t think I can stand this anymore,
I can’t sit here in shame.


Weeping all day and reminiscing all night,
I have get rid of these emotions somehow,
The darkness can become light,
And I’m in such a fright.

It’s like an abusive relationship,
You go black and blue,
Beating you up badly,
But “I still love you”..

I think the very least I could do,
Is to give up entirely,
I believe that it’ll work,
Because it’s literally killing the insides of me.

My poor brain,
I feel sorry for you,
This dreadful “disease” is going to walk all over you.

I can make it better,
Before it gets any worse,
Don’t you worry,
Because the truth will disperse.


Feelings, emotions, senses are hitting rock bottom,
I cannot express to you how much hardship this has taken
To still be here,
But now I’ll be forgotten.

This world is selfish,
This world is not nice,
This world can be peaceful,
But not in my mind.

This “illness” will not get better,
So I will end it
Forever
And ever.

We said our vows,
We made our mark,
We’ve accomplished our aspirations,
“Until death do us part”.

Suicide.