James Harris

Rookie - 24 Points (February 20th 1972)

The Imaginary Panda - Poem by James Harris

I swear I just saw a Giant Panda run in front of the car.
No More mixing spirits and wine when drinking at the bar.
I swear I can't be this drunk, it is barely even noon
See! There is the panda again, like a black and white raccoon!

What is it doing here? Did it escape from out of the zoo?
I know that Giant Pandas are not native to Kalamazoo
I know I'm not crazy, LOOK! There it goes again!
If it dashes by me I think I'll go insane.

Well of course it had to run past here one very last time.
This panda might be stalking me, I might be losing my mind.
Its tapping at my window now. Is this really happening to me?
Please Mr. Panda run along, please, I beg you let me be.

The panda has run along, he was actually quite nice.
For an otherwise dull afternoon, he added a little spice.
The panda handed me some paper before he ran into the thicket.
Turns out it was actually a cop and I just got a ticket.

If I learned one lesson right now from my panda escapade
It is that booze and wine together, are definitely my bane.
Next time it is one or the other, if I want to get loose
Then the only animal I'll care to see will be a lone Grey Goose.

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Poem Edited: Wednesday, January 25, 2012


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