Be this conch can be confined within great grotesque gate
But the soul that's free fresh fine and part divine
Can't be snared in a snarer's snares nor can burn in flaming shine
Nor can be weighted about by the affection's weight.
Its always a phonex rare winding in angelic state
Soothing and surging itself to its very fanny fins fine
Vitaling the very start of life festing the frame a living shrine
Pushes the pulses and forcing the feelings to rear or retreat.
Neither inevitable end nor ashes is ever designed its goal
Tis all liberty unrestrained freshness-filled a seenless sight
That fills this frame of flesh and bone with senses humble and meek
And proves the life neither beginning nor end nor any waste of toil
But to ever hail with all enthusiasm the gurdon bearing fight
Letting the fools to play in vain the game of hide and seek.
29-9/01-10-2007
Tis all liberty unrestrained freshness-filled a seenless sight That fills this frame of flesh and bone with senses humble and meek And proves the life neither beginning nor end nor any waste of toil....do our duties as perfectly as possible. our reward is in heaven with the Almighty God. dont worry about death. go and live peacefully well. tony
got the salvation with thy motivation, hey! thee geared guy, wish to fly.
Good effort indeed. Though the genre and the kind of device used the lines triumph. But with the Miltonic pattern the syntactical concerns surface often and grammatical flaws entwine the thread of lines.. We should keep on carrying our duties....reward for life.
The poem is very creative, both in the use of language and in the development of the theme.10.
very spontaneous yet gentle....beautiful jobs on the words sir fabulous
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
a good piece of artistic expression........ alliteration is good but in sonnet we mainly focus on pattern and rhyming, must be carry the meaning with as structure progress. would be more better if these features were synced.......2ndly the topic is quite pregnant in nature, immortality of soul dare to be treated and you did........ good job