The Inner Struggle Poem by john raymond

I pray daily for God's will in my life
I read his word as I try to live
I ask God for health & a soul mate daily
Each day nothing happens so he says no?
I thank God for another day that i walk talk & pray
Yet to share a lunch with a woman repeatedly is God's Yes
Now I know not what to do with this answered prayer?
I enjoy our time together & try to keep my focus on God
I see she trust me and wants to court God's way
Yet I ask should I know how she feels about me?
When she cancels is it an excuse or the truth
I struggle with the old man who had hurt to many times
Women who told me to show up when they did not
God bless each& every one of them but not again
This woman has given no reason to doubt her word
Yet I fight pains of the past in answered prayer
God I Need your help more then when I was asking?
She has been such a blessing I wish it an excuse
Because her life would not be in pain I tear for this
As i struggle in prayer against my old self in the heart
Be careful what you ask for it will give Him Glory