The Last Poem I'll Ever Write About You Poem by Adora Williams

The Last Poem I'll Ever Write About You

There are things that you don't know about me
That some days I write not to go mad
And that I prefer those days over the ones I feel good but can't write a word

That I wake up sad every day and smoke a cigarette to forget that I'm sad
And if I see a hummingbird, I believe it's bringing me hope
And that hope becomes true

That I trust no one and my very parents don't know a thing about my life
That I can't have children and that thought haunts me every day after the sun
Goes down

That I wish I could see as the birds see
That I wish I had a family to call mine
And to be the mother I didn't have

That I see the world as a French horror movie I want to escape from
And sometimes I like to pretend I don't speak their language
And most of the time I really don't

All those things you never knew about me, you never asked,
Are the reasons why I chose this sad and lonely life
Over the little bits of joy that you gave me
And charged me back

Those moments never got to become true happiness

Still, I think about you every night before I fall asleep
I still recall you sleeping by my side
I loved to watch you sleep when we were not in a fight
But you hated that I didn't sleep at night and my life was a mess
I was tameless and could never become a wife
I was unable to have your baby
And you didn't even know how deeply that sentence hit me

I left you, begged you to never look for me again
And now that I begin to finally feel your presence fade from my orbit
I feel this lack of everything

And everything reminds me of you

Friday, May 13, 2022
Topic(s) of this poem: love,confessional
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