The Morning After The Long Night Poem by Ellie Cook

The morning after the long night
Heavy heart I wake to
Simple sadness over my inability to love well
My words seem to betray my heart
As if someone else spoke them

I love you is all I can hear my heart say
Confusion seems to be what you hear

Alone in our bed sleeping next to you
More alone than by myself before you
The only kind of pain I have ever feared
Slowly creeping back in again

Regret and loneliness on my ride in this day
The morning after the long night
As I begin to abandon my heart
I cannot seem to stop the fall back into darkness
To the life before you

This simple fracture in our evening
Leaves doubt swimming in my mind
Not in you or your heart
But in myself

Can I free myself of the armor I have woven
Can I give to you what you deserve
Can I risk hearing your disappointment in me
Can I hurt again without causing harm

I dig my heels in convinced
I know this path well traveled
Certain I know where it leads
Where is my faith when needed

Why now can I not see my successes
The measures of my hearts love
The morning after the long night
Heavy heart I wake to