The Narcissist Poem by Patti Masterman

I have done every bad thing you could imagine; and others you could not have thought of. I have done bad and worse, many times over, not really aware of having made a choice at all.

Yes I have done a lot of bad things, but it only pains me rarely; much later than it ought to, and occasionally it keeps me from sleep, or awakens me too early, but it's not enough. Never enough to make me stop. You would think I would sense something about my life is not right. You would be wrong. I am more likely to lie awake plotting nasty things to do to other people. It's a high art form and I am the goddess of such.

Decent people should make me cringe, because they show to me my own darkness and lack. Sometimes I think I would still burn the world, even though the world be found faultless. It's not my fault, this unhappiness, this hunger for something even I don't know what it is. Nothing was ever enough for me.

I have done so much that's evil, but never admit to anything. Responsibility was never my thing. As we stand here, I would sooner do you an ill deed than not. No doubt my plans for you would not turn out well for you, by and by.
You would not be the first, only another in a long line of surprised victims. All too soon you would learn I am faithful only to my own demented designs.

Kindness is contemptible and weak in my world. And I would destroy my own self just to drag you under with me. I am a creature which never knew fear or friendship- and everyone around me is merely a vehicle for my desires.
I'm heroic and superior, and nothing can be done or said to sway me from my high opinion of self.

I have blood relatives but they are of no account to me. I have no use for those who won't be useful to me. God saw fit to give me children, but god knows they have never furthered my aims and have been more like weighty anvils than anything else, that I have had to work constantly to keep out of my way.

I even have great grand children now, and have no more care and concern for those than if I had passed over them on the road, run them over in my car. Cursing only that they slowed my trip, just another bump along my journey; look, everybody knows that I am such an important person! I alone took this life, and I alone made it into a living curse for others, moment by moment. Just think, what I could have made of it, if it hadn't all had to be about me, every second of every day...

What are you looking at?