The Pain In Me. Poem by zainab khawaja

Tonight, the darkness is kissing my pain,
Holding me loosely,
Cradling my shame,
Soothing an ache stagnated in my heart,
Going it seems but still it does not,
Some blood will dropp from my arm,
Hurt it will but a smile it will cause,
For the pain i got,
For the love i gave,
I will smile and smile away my pain,
Smiling i will let myself free,
Let go of the clutches not letting me breathe,
A tear that falls keeps falling it seems,
Dissolving into the dark,
Its darkening it seems,
My presence i dont feel,
My heart so heavy,
Is not making me breathe,
Tonight i just bleed,

Black is what i see in the horizon,
Black is all that is around me,
I am just fitting perfectly,
In the darkness, the deadness around me,
Its easy to let it enter my soul,
To penetrate my heart, my mind, my soul,
Because dead i am,
And dead i remain,
So i shall let the deadness become me.