The Pain Within (My Suicide Note) Poem by Ginger Kastrup

Please do not cry, for all of my sorrow is now my past.
Another tragic thing has happened to me, and I cannot lie,
I knew it would be my last.
For I cannot stand to be destined
To live a life full of worst fears come true.
I need the nightmares and flashbacks and scars not only to be lessened,
But for it all to be through.
We all knew I spent too much time asleep,
Now I can forever in peace rest.
I only want you to keep
The good memories of us at best.
For it is not your fault.

2012 - what a horrid yet wonderful year!
I made the best of friends, but too much happened to cause more than a tear.
Recovering from an abusive lover, self-harm, eating disorder, alcohol abuse, rape, and an STD
I THOUGHT WITH GOD I WAS FREE? !
I'm strong,
But even the strongest can only handle so much weight!
And I know I'm not wrong
Because I have grown to hate!
Hate my life!
Legend says we're lucky but I am cursed!
I've never had a friend with so much happen in a year, but then there's me.
So now my body will be driven in a hearse
Because now I can steer clear from any more pain.
For the dead cannot feel emotion.

For a while for you it might rain.
It might feel like your life is moving in slow motion.
But ask yourself this:
'Would I rather Haley be pain free, or me happy while she suffers here on earth? '
You and I both know the answer to that.