The Renewal Of The Old Newel Poem by C Richard Miles

We thought that we’d need a new newel
But no-one knew well what one was,
So then we thought that we would do well
To look it up, duly, because
If we had a clue, well, we knew well
That the DIY superstore chap
Would do well and find a new newel
To put in the banister’s gap.
We checked, since no-one knew “newel”,
To make sure we’d got the word right
Since if we bought wrong ‘twould be cruel
If it wouldn’t fit and put up a fight
And refused to fill the omission
In the staircase up to the top floor
So, before we set out on our mission,
We’d check so we knew well before.
So we took advice and we heeded
The facts that the Internet said:
It wasn’t a new newel we needed;
It was truly a new spindle instead.
Now we know that it isn’t a newel
We won’t now get swindled to buy
The thing we were going to do all
The time when we didn’t know why
What we wanted was really a spindle
To fill up the hole on the stair
And, now our ambition’s a-kindle,
We’ll set out to the shop and go there
And not ask there for a new newel
But seek a new spindle from him
So we can fix what needs swift renewal
And chuck the old newel to dwell in the bin.