The Sexual Harrassment Lady Poem by David Welch

I groaned when I saw the e-mail at work
for the yearly harassment seminar,
every year the same useless consultant
saying, "Don't be crude, no matter where you are,
and don't as a coworker to the bar."
The company's effort to not get sued,
where we get told, "Your evil if a dude."

But I like my job and my benefits,
they pay me not to work, I won't argue!
I'd day-dream while some stock feminist
made male wimpiness sound like a virtue,
then just go back to doing what I do.
So I learned back, let the meeting begin,
only to be surprised by who walked in.

She was a tall redhead, skin all alabaster,
in a snug suit that showed off lovely curves,
her voice had a honeyed sweetness I liked,
gave life to the dull, bureaucratic words,
couldn't help but think that it was absurd
that the harassment lady looked this damn fine,
the universe was laughing, having a time.

Of course I didn't say anything out loud,
I'm not a young, stupid, or mindless fool,
at a bar I would be buying her a drink,
but on the clock I follow all the rules,
though it seemed the fates were being cruel,
because through the talk several times I could see
harassment lady sneaking glances at me!

While talking or respecting you coworkers
she gazed right at me for quite a long spell,
I got more smiles than everyone there,
at one point she winked towards me as well,
I wondered if anyone else could tell.
At the end she said, "Everyone should take care,
the workplace is not like the bar downstairs."

Taking the hint, I was later waiting
in a booth when the lady strolled near,
the look she was wearing left no more doubt,
so I said, "Won't you come sit down here,
this place has five different types of craft beer."
Then with a sly grin she started to imbibe,
I called for a taxi, both too gone to drive.

From what I remember, it was a great night,
though the details you all know I can't say,
she was so exhausted, she didn't leave,
woke up besides me on that Saturday,
she sheepishly said, "Umh…my name is May."
She quickly got up, and tried not to freak,
her face was all flushed, and she wouldn't speak.

I sat up in my bed, smiled at her,
"What's your number? We could go out some time? "
She shook her head, "Last night was a mistake,
and I must've ben out of my mind,
to get that drunk and sleep with your kind.
To go to bed with such a toxic male,
every belief that I have I just failed."

He attitude was amusing to me
so I just laid back and watched he dress,
she seemed so damn angry with herself
over a night of athletic sex,
never have I seen a person so vexed.
She just stormed angrily out of the room,
so I just shrugged and said, "I'll see you soon! "

I went about my life, working my job,
the next Saturday I got a message,
she was coming over, a booty call,
‘just sex, without all of the baggage, '
she arrived and displayed ample cleavage,
she mumbled something about a bad date,
said, "You make love well, despite all your hate."

After that night her visits would become
a much more practiced and regular thing,
first one night a week, then two, three, or four,
all the while she just kept insisting,
she was a ‘traitor' for not ‘resisting, '
One night I took her wearing a red cap,
I knew she was mine, there was no going back.

One night she stayed up long after we
had both achieved a relaxing release,
she started out into a rainy, night sky
said, "I no longer now what to believe,
I do not understand what's wrong with me,
I've gone out with such understanding men,
and yet I com back here, again and again."

I embraced her and talked to her slowly,
"Maybe there's something in me you desire.
You want to keep the workplace on the up and up,
that's not a bad goal for which to aspire,
but that doesn't mean you feel no fire.
Somehow you seem to think in your mind
that due to your job you have to hate guys."

Said said, "No, I was raised to be feminist,
and those are the beliefs I observe! "
I shrugged, "Yes, but did you bother to ask
if your beliefs work with your nature?
I know you might just call me a ‘hater, '
but do you really think how we evolved
will play no role in our love-live at all? "

She stiffened as I explain my thoughts,
"We're not blank slates just to be programmed,
there are things intrinsic to you as woman,
just like there's thing written into each man,
this has been known since before time began.
do you think then that it might make sense
that our skills offset, that we compliment? "

She said, "That's just old, outdated talk,
male and female are social constructs."
I pressed my hips against her and said,
"If you really believe that then good luck."
She grumbled loudly and quickly got up,
muttering, "The last time that I come here…"
I said sleepily, "Until next time, my dear."

Admittedly she showed some will that time,
I didn't see her for two whole months more,
until I heard knocking one fine morning
and saw he standing there before my door,
with a look to heartbroken to ignore,
Said, "I still don't agree with all that you said,
but a lot of it makes some sense in my head."

This all happened about three years ago,
neither of us have left the other's side,
we had a daughter, red-headed and cute,
and for her now I work to provide,
but my wife's choice took me by surprise,
She won't trust day-care to raise our child,
she's a stay-at-home mom, isn't that wild?