The Smart Fly Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

A fly, born lazy, had been starving
when in the pantry, Bob was carving
a big Virginia Air-Smoked Ham.
He also had prepared a lamb.
The odour woke his appetite
and, as he circled near the light
he did create a clever plan
to take advantage of the man.
With utmost patience he then entered
into the pants whereas were centred
the jewels of a generation,
(he had received no invitation) .
At first he buzzed and then he bit
fly venom caused an ugly zit,
and then he raced from side to side
with pubic hairs his only guide.
The buzzing and the strange attention
disturbed the man, I need to mention
that Bob had truly not suspected
that flies could enter his protected
and isolated dangling things,
but life is strange and sometimes brings
the unexpected small surprise
and afterwards we can be wise.
So, Bob who itched and almost burned
ran from the pantry, quite concerned,
he had, last Sunday at a dance
made eyes and then a bold advance
to someone who was a good looker
she could have been a common hooker!
He hurried now to Doctor Knapp
to see if he had caught the clap
or something even more exotic
in need of strong antibiotic.
The doc examined him, of course
and said you're healthy as a horse.
But when he got back to the house
he glimpsed the shadow of a mouse
the fly and his invited guests
had stuffed their bellies to their chests
there was a bone, clean as a whistle
a single hair, a trace of gristle
both lamb and ham had all been eaten
and Bob had thoroughly been beaten.