The Unholy Fart Poem by Phrank Adie

We were hit by a pungent smell,
Someone had unleashed a deadly missile
In the midst of praise and worship
In the house of God

The smell came at a time,
When my mouth was wide open in song.
It hit me like a tornado,
And went right into my stomach.

I fought hard not to throw up,
Everyone around me held their noses,
Some were forced to change their seats,
While others stood their ground against the assault.

A shabbily dressed man was in our midst,
Everyone looked at him with disdain;
Obviously suspecting he emitted the fetid gas
But he kept a straight face, and continued praising his God.

I must confess, I suspected him too,
Later, guilt quietly settled upon my heart,
When my neat and expensively dressed neighbour
Leaned over and whispered, 'It was me.'