Then When I Poem by Nassy Fesharaki

Then when I

Maybe I, in a way, must be too grateful
-for such life, stamped with incidents, accidents
-witnessed in periods, or making them happen
-rich and full to extent that cannot be written
-unless I talk daily to typists in many
-who can write and are fast in speed

One must write of childhood
-from when mom conceived
-to death of grandpa
-to winter and apple blossom
-and poppy planted in secret
-and sucking on it and becoming poisoned
-and mother finding child fallen dead
-and catching a fly, and vomit
-and return
-to the race of riding the donkey
-to how that animal had kindness
-was concerned
-jumped over the brook in a way
-that wouldn't drop me to break
-arm or leg, tooth or head, be injured

I love you my donkey even though
-I lost you to the life standards and changes
-you knew much better than planes; I swear
-I flew both as a pilot and passenger

Another must write of my work in pharmacy
-purchasing and selling the medicines expired
-or making cheap syrups, increasing water
-and going to houses, injecting
-in muscles and in veins
-to dying toddler and other clients…
-among them young women and old men

And someone writes of my travels
-in Iran and abroad, crossing the borders
-to meet, dine with the varied cultures
-and the faiths and the ways that differed
-as do the night and day

Somebody must record summer camps
-how we went and carried bed, mattress
-and our games with the goats and the lambs
-or chickens or the wild animals, to cat, dog

Yet maybe I should be grateful
-for such life, special with many travels
-witnessing many things
-and making some happen
-rich and full to extent that cannot be written
-by just one

Maybe I must start daily work
-with many of typists,
-I dictate and they punch
-later will transcribe
-and edit and publish
-and amuse and inform the people
-this is how success comes
-or become terrorist by a cause,

Yet maybe I should be grateful
-for such life, special with ups-downs
-witnessing many who fell, nosed down
-or took off, rose with help, and went up,
-to achieve what have done

Yet maybe I must write sort of a history
-or make a genre of comedy
-or could it be only memoir
-of a life exception with many travels
-so very different
-to States and skies and Russia to Japan
-and to South Africa and Cairo, Kenya
-and most of Western World

Oh I must
-yes I must
-but need help