Theology And Banking Poem by Hans Ostrom

He tried to confess
his sins to a bank.
He told the teller
about his specific
enactments of sloth,
deception, cruelty, lust.
Did he have an account?
she asked. Everyone,
he replied, has an account
in Heaven. Would he step
aside to let the next
person in line advance?
she asked. Yes, he said,
but first I need to withdraw
forgiveness, quite
a lot of it. She summoned
Security, who said they
would have to ask him
to leave. He said he
would have to ask them
to forgive him. They
said they excused him. No,
not excuses, he said—
forgiveness. They took him
to the door and beyond. He
wandered to a church
and deposited some money.
May I have a receipt? he asked.
Yes, a liturgical minister said,
and gave him a wafer, a sip
of wine. He ate and drank
the receipt. Will you tell me
my current balance? he asked.
Yes, the minister said, you are,
like everyone else, overdrawn,
so I wouldn’t push it. Go now
and sin much more frugally
if sin you must, and
apparently, you must.