There Poem by Alyssa Lynn

there’s always going to be this part of me that contradicts what I say, do believe, want, crave, so how will I know which one is me and which one is in fact an imposter? Who’s to say that my friends actually know me, who’s to say I even in fact know my self? What if I’m found scared what if they see me when I’m not okay? What if I don’t want to be myself, what if myself is not enough? But then again what if myself is the only person I know how to be? What if I build walls, so I can discover who really cares? What if I don’t know how to tell the difference between the liars and the honest because the ones I thought were honest...Lied? What if I confessed that my fears hold me back? What if I let someone in, I mean really in, to understand me, even though to be honest I’m not sure if that exists. What if I let myself fall in love, would it hurt as much as I think it will when he walks away? What if I dissect everything around me, every boy who walks by? Would it help or hinder me? Would it do a thing? I’ve learned that we’re more alike than we know that first impressions aren’t always the ones we should depend on. What if I took a chance, what if I tried? What if I’ve forgotten why I bother to make boundaries, do they matter or are they just a mere line in the sand? Maybe I’m waiting for someone to understand, to open eyes wide, to give me answers, to leave themselves open. Someone who’s willing to stay, maybe the truth is I search the radio in hopes for the lyrics in my head to hit those speakers in perfect unison. What if I run out of words, what if they stop before they even hit the page? What if the truth is I often wish I could be heard, instead of silenced, noticed instead of ignored.