Oblivious to what I’m trying to say, yeah you’re oblivious. I want to scream cuz I have feelings for you, but you act like your too blind to feel it too. I feel so dumb for even wanting anything…and you’re the one to blame tricking me, making me think you feel the same.
Dumb girl don’t go thinking he doesn’t feel the same, yeah your being a dumb girl, I swear some days he can’t even remember your name. “What am I supposed to do? ” Dumb girl stop, stop. Get the boy out of your head, doesn’t matter cuz all the lines are all read. You gotta give the rest of em a chance, stupid girl, high schools not for romance.
Walking, waiting, why? Wake up, face something. Or take a chance and take matters in your own hands. Or you could always open your eyes and stop being so oblivious, maybe there’s some other boy out there. You know one comes to mind. Oblivious to him your walkin blind.
Dumb girl your being a dumb girl when you could be smart, this boy could break your heart. Dumb girl, quit being such a dumb girl, and let it in…. feel the rush upon your skin. Your completely oblivious to what I’ve been trying to say, just wish you could look me in the eyes and tell me “it’s okay” that you too feel this way.
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I’m not the girl who’ll put out
I’m not the girl who’ll give in
I’m not the life-sized barbie doll, who’ll just let you have her & transform her as you wish
I’m not typical or “normal”
...
Love
Terrifying, beautiful
Wishing, waiting, kissing
Chocolates, dating, marriage, growing
...
I need some time, I need a change. Don’t know how to believe in love, when at my age it merely washes away. I need a breath, need some space, I need something today...
Fill me in take the heart, see me, use me to play a part, find me wherever I may turn, fill me in on the lessons we learn.
Yesterday is a memory, tomorrow is too far, I can’t see. Hold my hand, take a chance, let’s learn all over again how to dance.
...
Can’t sleep, won’t sleep scared of what I’ll find when I close my eyes. I’m starting to think I’m not supposed to have someone for me, is that the moral to the story? That’s what I’m finding. I try counting sheep but can’t you see it’s no use?
So fool me, trick me, love me, just to leave me. Don’t try to convince me; don’t bother in trying to sweet talking me. This time the jokes on me, you can prank call someone else for now. Hey you, yeah you, carry on. You managed to make me feel small so congrats. Job well done, guess your mission was accomplished.
Can’ t sleep, won’t sleep don’t want to close my eyes, cuz I know the truth, I’m just some girl, don’t go fooling me into thinking I’m more. Carry on, keep on going. Have a good life, how can one continue to be friends with someone with a “personality” like mine? Now that I know your secret, I don’t know if I can ever be the same. I feel like I went to sleep daydreaming and woke up to find my words nothing but blurred ink on a page. Discovering that ordinary and boring, could be words used to describe, right now.
Fool me, trick me, oh you already did, check mate. You win. Game over, I quit. Sleep, dream, fall, do I dare? No I don’t. Resist, resist the urge. Stupid girl to wake up and think things would be, could be, should be different. Oh but baby you’ll learn in time, this is just one of the first few steps, one of the many low blows to come. But don’t go losing sleep over this, there’s many nights where tossing and turning will come in handy but now is not one of those times.
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Stand up, I know how your feeling like you'd rather give in than live another day feeling like this but stand up. Don't let it all crash down. Stand up,
One day all the pain will go away. I can tell he's dying inside, and it's killing me to see him so broken. I see the tears roll down his cheeks, and I wish
There was something I could do but a voice in my head wants me to tell him to stand up, keep fighting even though deep inside you’re dying. I'll live for
Both of us, cuz I can see your barley holding on, stand up the battle's not over, even though this life is just getting colder. Stand up cuz I'll be here by your
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I'm Alyssa but you can call me Blackbird if you'd like. I'm 18, and I've been writing since I was maybe 12 or 13. I have poems in random places all over. Theres something I find so free about poetry, theres some sort of magic when those words hit the page, as if fairy tales were just some sort of allusion, while on the other hand poetry is my reality. Poetry is also...my home. Carrie Rudzinski is my favorite poet she does spoken word 'Elbows and Dear Stranger' are my favorite by her, she's on youtube if you ever want to check her out.)
Tug A War
It’s like my mind is playing a game of tug a war and I can’t seem to win either way. It screams, jump, fall, win, and lose. Either way it seems we chose. It screams, “I want you”, it demands truth, yet knows lies are safer, yet they only lead to more pain. Split in the middle where love, and anger come and go, a love poem here, filled with sweet seduction and temptation. Only to go along with the pain, yet not suffocating just faint, like being aware there is a convicted man in the room, yet there is no screaming, no sensation, fear yet your legs don’t move. There are conflicting thoughts saying “sing me a love song” While another voice screams “it won’t last forever he’ll leave as do they all.” But love screams in protest, as if to try to balance out the hardships of this inner war. So here we go again, with this game, no monopoly, and no goldfish. By now innocence has left the building. It’s only your romantic self one edge of the rope, as your angry disastrous self holds the other side of the rope. Angel vs. Devil…..it will never end. This game is endless, don’t go telling yourself it’s any different, and don’t tell yourself it ever will be.