They Want To Make You Hurt Poem by David Welch

They told me back when I was young
to conserve water for the Earth,
wash your clothes less, take short showers,
or else the whole planet would hurt.
They said not to use that hairspray,
that would cause an ozone hole,
and solar winds would sweep on in,
consuming all of the south pole.
They said we'd starve in the eighties,
called it the population bomb,
we could do nothing to stop it,
our resources would soon be gone.
They said the planet was too hot,
we had to not use energy,
or everything would go extinct,
and there'd be no icebergs at sea.
They said our animals pollute,
out ancient foods no longer good,
eat vegetables, protein powders,
and other stuff that tastes like wood.
They said our vehicles must go,
they burn the oil, don't you see?
There's no need for so much travel,
stay where you are and be happy!

But I live up in the northeast,
and there is water everywhere,
bad sanitation makes you sick,
for live and flees I do not care.
And I never once used hairspray,
but those big holes in the ozone
grow and shrink despite all we do,
working by strange rules all their own.
All the talk of great food shortage
couldn't withstand Norman Borlaug,
forty years on they still pitch this,
will not admit they got it wrong.
The ice caps remain where they are,
yet they still shout, ‘Less energy! '
As if us folks here in cold lands
will quietly sit back and freeze.
And time has shown that eating flesh
is required for true brain health,
the vegans shrivel and age young,
do they want that for us as well?
And if the oil they despise
no longer could be used in cars,
food could not move to where we live,
millions of people would just starve.

It seems that all their ‘solutions'
are made to diminish mankind,
to make life harder in a world
that at it's best seems sometimes malign.
They want us to starve in darkness,
they want us to freeze in a cave,
openly speak of reducing
the population in some way.
A blatant anti-human strain,
some of them go so far to think
the world would be a better place
if human beings went extinct!
To think that all humans can do
can be so simply thrown away,
for animals that kill and hunt
with no difference from day to day.
What darkness lies without a soul
to think of their own kind like this?
what emptiness they seek to fill
with this pseudo-religious sh-t?

Or is it that those people claim
to be some sort of an elite?
They want to keep the ‘peasants' down,
relative status they all seek,
since it's never the rich hippies
who live by the rules that they set,
they tell us to suffer while they
fly to conferences on private jets!
Not the actions of believers,
in truth it's the action of those
who don't want you to climb up to
the positions to which they rose.
So they take cars, take you house,
badger you to give up your meat,
tell you it's bad to have children,
claim that it's a moral belief,
to force you all to live a life
that's poorer, more hungry, and short,
to feel greater they'll say, "For Earth
it may be better to abort! "
All this nonsense is no required
to make smart conservation work,
they are no greens, they're misanthropes,
and they just want to make you hurt.