Thoughts Of A Transgender Poem by Charles Zhang

Thoughts Of A Transgender

her ams around my upper body-

mine around her lower, 

we whispered, laughed

(almost kissed!) 

but didn’t and no further;

“I don’t want to, ” she said.

“use your body, ” for
I’ve the body of a male,
but identify otherwise.

“and I’m straight.”

well we continued to whisper, laugh,
(and almost-kiss)

at four, she went back to her dorm. I’m glad

she did. Friendship’s welcome
is warmer.
I snuggled to myself
with an austere sensation

yet perplexed with desolate vexation,
contemplating my prospects with her
if I'm not transgender.

I plan on submitting this to the Literary Magazine for my high school. It's currently in the revision phase, so I'd appreciate any comments.
Bri Edwards 11 December 2018

(cont.) 3- OVERALL i liked the poem and esp. liked the part about “Friendship’s welcome”, but sexual intercourse/, , etc. can be lovely as well! ! ! I’ve not had a transgender experience, but a number of ‘straight/heterosexual’ ones. To MyPoemList. Bri (“

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Bri Edwards 11 December 2018

(cont.) 2- If you revised the poem, i’d be interested in reading it. Lines 6-10 could be reworked, not using so many quotation marks, and perhaps beginning with ‘She said’. I liked ‘almost kissed’ and ‘almost-kiss’, BUT why use a hyphen with one and not the other? I’d not use either place. (cont.)

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Bri Edwards 11 December 2018

1- “Austere” has several definitions and many synonyms! ! ! Perhaps you could pin it down for the readers? But i see the only comment is dated 2013, so i fear it is too late for your high school revision work! ! It is unclear to me if YOU (or at least the poem’s speaker) ARE/is (a) “transgender”. TO ME, the last line could mean that you ARE or that you ARE NOT! ! ! (cont.)

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Susan Lacovara 27 October 2013

Written with such an honest pen...on such a controversial topic. I invite you to read my poem, and notes, All Love Is Love...inspired by my gay brother getting married. You are brave to write with such emotion and I give your poem high praise in rating it 10! PEACE

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