To Be And Not Be.... Poem by RIC BASTASA

i am not that an old
man yet and so i cannot
tell you that i have
taken the prize of wisdom,

i may say i am still at
this stage of denial trying
to hide my white hairs with
that black dye my old smell
with spice and my weakness
with laughter and wit,

i want to be true to myself
and relieve it with the comfort
of these lies.I say i miss you.
I say i cannot have you. it
is an accepted impossibility.

i have long accepted this.
i set you aside like a
flower that i love where
i keep saying i do not
need flowers and i do not
love what delights me.

i say i am content with
restraint. I am happy with
limitations. I am surviving
with the code of my own valor.

this is the hour somehow
that i give in and here i am
savoring my own presence in the
silence of my own chosen hours.

i now give you the reason
for writing. Because you cannot
love that much, you write how is
it to love and be not requited.

this is the sacrifice of all
lovers. To love and be not loved
in return. To be silent and yet
not rebel. To live and just be
happy in the slow death of all
emotions. To be and not be.