To Tams Poem by Ashley Morrell
To Tams
I've been cut deep from these rugged remains. and i'm struggling to wipe away the stains. all i'm left with are these augmenting pains.
I've been windswept off my feet when i searched for these remains. an archaelogical excavation that never yearned to end.
I'm swinging from a tree like a monkey in a zoo in hope that you will too. i was colnel mustard and you were miss scarlet together we played the game and learned how to win; i never once wanted you to go thin.
All i'm left with are these bitter sweet memories. the dark chocolate left on the side which no longer left a taste after you left me in such a haste.
I wanted to be nice so i could suffice but i turned out to be a grain of rice.
so i'll write our names in this piece of wood so i'll know where we once stood.
I loved you my darling as best I ever could.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/26/2024 11:36:28 AM # 1.0.0.1119
Hallo Ashley, you wanted me to look at your work, so here I am. I think you write well and enjoyed this. It might be a good idea to work on the layout, make the phrases shorter, as I looks like a piece of prose, not so poetic.Try to present the ideas in blocks, right through with two, three or four lines, even free verse (I think) needs a structure. Avoid phrases like bitter sweet that have often been used and check colnel, I think you spell it Colonel. You have talent, there is lots to like here, Leslie.