Today Poem by Suzanne Hayasaki

who am i today?
now there is a riddle for a sage!
has anyone ever seen herself clearly in the moment
without the focus of time passed
to add dimension to the present perspective?

i only know that i am not who i was.
whether i have grown or shrunk
is for others to judge.
whether letting others advise and guide me
makes me weaker or wiser
only time and certain outcomes in my life will decide.

but for now i will lay down my torch of truth
for now i will pick up my soap box and go home.
i formally retire from trying to fight fate.
it's a rigged game.
i fold.

she is a better bluffer.
she keeps raising the bet
intending to bankrupt me.
so i will frankly admit complete defeat
and leave the foolhardy at the table
thinking they can still take her chips
in the next round of play.

i have won.
i have lost.
i have learned.
i have mourned.

i have proved to myself and the world
that i can play for high stakes
pay my debts and walk away
head held high and spirits light
knowing that some sucker will fill my seat
and the game will go on all night
or until lady fate has taken all
and, temporarily sated, leaves
in search of a new game to play.

there are times you have to take a leap of faith.
whether you land on your feet is not the point.
you have shifted your position.
a new view has opened to you.

life will nearly kill you every time
if you are doing it right.
the goal is to survive
with your sanity intact.

anything more is a well-earned bonus.
tuck it in your pocket and walk on.
walk on.