Too Close And Beauty Hurts Poem by Lonnie Hicks

To be in the face of Beauty-
and she was Beauty-
is intimidating;
there is the desire to
not be close
for being close intensifies the
sense of inadequacy.

It is a shock to be in the face of beauty
and there arises
at least for me
the desire to find just one flaw
to cling to.

I re-run that fleeting face
back through my mind
to find the way to sanity.

I don't have this view about Nature's beauty
which evidently I tolerate;
but personal beauty
is alive
inches from me everyday
which I face
at the elevator door,
which opens like
the doors of heaven
and there she is;
she and I
eye level to eye level
alone.

The awkward turn
to face the front;
arm-wrestling with the desire
to turn around to have another look;
the eyes themselves still resonate
with the image set
deep in the retina.

I can hear her breathe;
we two alone;
the elevator rising

I feel her there
at one point holding her breath
matching my withholding too.

Finally my floor;
relieved
I flee
confused
again by too much Beauty.

And she
I am sure
faired no better;
the tension was electric.

I sure she felt
I did not like her
nary ever a smile for her
stony silence
emanating from the back
of my neck.

I see her everyday
and nothing changes.

She is Beauty
and I am
intimidated.

We cannot be close.
or even friends.
It is that way I think
because
some people
churn my soul
especially the truly
beautiful ones.