Trigger Happy Poem by Crystal Johnson

My finger's on the trigger and you're standing in the way.
I got one shot to make it stop and the pain will go away.
Please don't try to change my mind, the decision has been made.
So I'll close my eyes and hold my breath, you can't stop me, it's too late.

You might call me crazy but this isn't suicide.
It's not the desire to die I have, but the fear to stay alive.
I just can't take the broken hearts, and the nights of endless tears.
I don't want to face what else will come, I want it to end right here.

I held on longer that I could, I went through things that no one should.
I tried to stay strong and I was doing so good,
But I lost my mind like you knew that I would.

You didn't see through my little charade,
You thought I was happy, but it was a game.
And when you catch on it will be way to late,
Ignoring me was your biggest mistake!

Not once would you come talk to me, instead you would disregard,
The fact that I was crumbling, breaking and falling apart.
You thought it was for attention, so you just sat there in silence,
You never even realized I really needed your guidance.

You wanted so bad to look at me and see an exact reflection,
Of everything you used to be, you wanted to see perfection.
But perfect isn't who I was, it isn't what I am,
I don't want to end up just like you, why didn't you understand?

I'm sorry that I couldn't be who you wanted for a daughter.
I tried my best to measure up, but you weren't much of a father.