John Stroud

Twist With Love

Little boy sitting on a swing
as sad as can be.
Mother sitting in her car
she is a junkie.

Blond haired boy
trying to get his kicks.
Mom talking to a stranger
trying to get her fix.

Blue eyed boy
wants to stay and play.
Mom is ready to go
now that she's well for the day.

Lets go! Mom screams
with a glassy eyed smile.
Boy gets in the car
he cries for a while.

The police wont come
pull him away.
Because that 8 year old boy
will not say.

Mom drinks and does drugs
she leaves me alone.
I get nothing to eat
no one is home.

35 years of his life
went passed.
Two girls and a wife
happy at last.

No drinking or drugs
in that boys life.
Two beautiful girls
a wonderful wife.

No screaming or yelling
no fighting or slapping.
Not in his home
wont let it happen.

Just hugs and kisses
smiles you'll see.
That boy is now loved
by his own family.

Poem Submitted: Monday, February 5, 2007
Poem Edited: Saturday, January 8, 2011

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Comments about Twist With Love by John Stroud

  • Deanna MoreDeanna More (2/10/2007 3:29:00 AM)

    .
    John, this text layout is much more appealing to the Poet, in us all.
    Your descriptions are great.You tell a sad story,
    but, (whew!) ....... with a Happy Ending!

    Deanna xx

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  • Daniel Tyler (2/9/2007 4:36:00 PM)

    Even better now the lines are more consistent. Well done sir.

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  • Alison Smith (2/8/2007 9:33:00 PM)

    The content is good here but I agree it would be better a better read with the verses lined up....

    Alison

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  • Daniel Tyler (2/7/2007 2:20:00 PM)

    Yes, this is rather beat influenced only with rhyme. It has this prose feeling and the visaul presentation neatly sums up the disjointed life of your narrator at first. For the part where he finds happiness, it may be an idea to line the verses up, to show the change from chaos to fulfillment. A fascinating, rewarding poem, though.

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  • Candy Larock (2/7/2007 8:03:00 AM)

    Great poem! What I really like is that the reader experiences the full range of emotion.

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  • Deanna MoreDeanna More (2/6/2007 9:55:00 PM)

    .
    John, initially, you painted a Portrait of Despair. Then came, the Happy Ending!
    (I'm glad!) .....Great story, told very well. Evokes the emotions of the reader.

    This style of writing is unique for poemhunter.com.
    I would like to see this Prose-Like Form fragmented into verses
    or have each sentence.. lined up - (one, right after the other) -
    according to the 'rhyming words'.

    If you do this fragmenting, message me and I'll re-review.

    Cheers!
    Deanna
    .

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